Someone care to transcribe that?

I decided to write this last night when I was playing Madden, and the wife started asking questions I thought she already knew the answers to.  "Why was that a penalty?" "What's 'line of scrimmage'?"  "What's a blitz?"  I guess when it all comes down, football has a lot of rules and penalties, especially compared to basketball and baseball, America's other two main sports.  I'll take it slow.  I'll deal with NFL football, as it's the most widely seen.

First things first.  The football field is a large open grass field, measuring 120 yards(360 feet) long, and 53 1/3 yards(160 feet) wide.  At each end of the field is a 10 yard "end zone," leaving 100 yards in between as the actual playing surface.  At the end of each end zone is a large upright "goal post."  An arm that reaches up, and makes a large "U" shape.  This is used for kicking field goals, and extra point attempts(I'll explain those later).  The goalpost is 10 feet high and 18 feet, 6 inches wide.  On the playing surface, every 10 yards is marked with a line across the field.  There are also shorter "hash marks" along the sideline marking each yard.  Also, in the middle of the field, lining up with each arm on the goalpost is a row of hash marks, one yard apart, extending from end zone to end zone.  When the ball is downed, the referee places the ball back in between these hash marks.  If a player is tackled outside of the hash marks, or steps out of bounds, the ball is placed just inside the hash mark to that corresponding side.  If he's tackled within the hash marks, the refs place the ball at that lateral spot between the hash marks.  The spot of the ball out to either side of the field is known as the "line of scrimmage."

In football, your team tries to move the ball as deeply into the other team's territory as possible.  You do this by throwing(passing) or running(rushing) the ball.  You have 4 attempts-"downs"- to move the ball 10 yards.  If you're successful, you get 4 more attempts until you reach the opposite end of the field, the "end zone," your team scores 6 points.  If you don't make it all the way to the end, you have two options.  Your team can kick a field goal, worth 3 points, if you're close enough.  Otherwise, you kick the ball away, or "punt" it to the other team.  The other team will try to run the punt back as far as possible before being stopped, at which point they take over on offense, and your team tries to stop THEM.  After each play, the referees determine where the ball was "down," where the player with the ball was tackled or stepped out of bounds.  They place the ball at that point, or at a corresponding point between the hash marks.

Player Positions:

There are 11 players per side on the field at a time.  11 offensive players trying to score, 11 defensive players trying to stop them.  Here's a breakdown of those positions, what they do, and where they line up.

Offense:  I'll start where a lot of people get forgotten: the offensive line.

The offensive line are the unsung heroes of the team.  The line consists of 5 players:

Center- The center lines himself up directly over the ball.  His primary roles are to help block for the pass, help block for the run, and to give, or "snap" the ball to the quarterback at the beginning of each play.  He also helps the quarterback call out protection, essentially, tell the other linemen where he sees the defense lining up and where to expect them to attack.

Guards- Lined up at each side of the center are the guards.  These guys have a similar, but more simplified role than the center, in that they merely pass and run block.  The guards will occasionally leave their spot beside the center to pass or run block on the opposite side.

Offensive Tackles- the OTs will line up outside of the guards and do pretty much the same job.  Blocking is the main purpose of these guys.  In rare occassions, they may also act as "receivers," which I'll explain later.

This is an awful lot to swallow right now.  I'll stop here for now, and pick back up later.

Those of you who know me know I've been pretty upset for a few weeks now over my Wii Fit.  I ordered it on June 3rd, and per Walmart.com- I was looking at a 2 day processing time, and a 7-10 day shipping window to the store.  12 days max.  We're at 21 right now, and I still don't have a Wii Fit.

Walmart.com sent me the following today:

If you've read my previous posts, or just generally know me, you know my wife sells Pure Romance products.  She does the whole fantasy party thing. If you don't know, I touch on it here.  So anyway, she's been kind of down about the whole thing of late, as her last 3 parties have had a less than desirable turnout.  They shoot for 10 girls or more, and God bless the last few, they've had 4-5 show up at each.  She was pumped about last night, as her best friend from high school was hosting, and she really expected a good turnout.

Let me say that Pure Romance has strict rules about men, and also about women under 18.  They're not allowed.  Period.  When the wife threw one at the house before she started selling, I had to leave.  Couldn't go to my lair upstairs with the PS2 and play Madden(I'd have been fine up there for about 3 hours, no big deal), had to leave the property.  And take the baby.  And go to the in-laws'.  Which isn't a problem, because I like them.

So yesterday, during hell-day at work, and as a friend just referred to it- Holomove's "Update Tuesday," Philly-boy contacted me.  I was swamped, and just plain couldn't talk.

[6/17/2008 1:55:13 PM] phil says: hi
[6/17/2008 1:55:56 PM] Alphawulf says: sorry Phil, no time to talk right now
[6/17/2008 1:56:11 PM] phil says: why?
[6/17/2008 1:57:03 PM] Alphawulf says: I'm very busy handling some problems at work
[6/17/2008 1:57:35 PM] phil says: ok i hope you come through with it
[6/17/2008 1:57:42 PM] phil says: take care

That was surprisingly easy.  I decided a day or so ago it was drawing close to time to bust him out... and I did it today.  I eased into it though, and for a second, thought nothing would happen.

[10:51:19 AM] phil says: hi

You could probably get this information somewhere else, but as long as I'm offering it, why not get it from me?  I'm a trustworthy(*twitch*) source, and why would I(*twitch*) lie to you?

I switched to Firefox about 2 years ago, and I've never looked back.  I downloaded it at work, on my wife's old laptop that doesn't work anymore, I've sought Firefox Mobile(to no avail- anyone know of a copy?), installed it at the in-laws, built a computer for a friend and clicked "yes" to make Firefox the default browser, told all my friends, yada yada yada.  I've never stood in line for a release of Windows, never bought a launch day copy of Windows- but I had my seat and popcorn for FF3.

Firefox has truly revolutionized the internet for me.  Even in situations where Firefox isn't supported, this no-longer-cult following has released things like "IE Tab" which renders the current page in Internet Explorer, or does it in a different tab if you so choose.  Add-ons like "Gmail Notifier" ensure you won't miss that important email- the wildly popular "Ad Block Plus" blocks almost every ad, and there's even "TwitterFox" that allows you to stay on top of your Twitter with amazing accuracy.  In short- I <3 Firefox, I </3 Internet Explorer.

Yesterday's(6/17/08) release of FF3 had Mozilla hoping for 1,000,000 downloads.  The US alone, as of time of writing, had downloaded 2,177,888 copies of the browser.  A total of 6,213,767 copies have been downloaded worldwide(again, as of time of writing).  When I started looking for the total download count this morning, I found SpreadFirefox.com.  The link goes straight to the page that shows downloads by country, and the total number of downloads.  I found some interesting information on this site(all of which are current as of time of writing).

• As stated before, the US alone has downloaded 2,177,888 copies of FF3
• Our northern neighbors have 175,675(eh)
• Countries with 0 downloads: French Guiana(South America), North Korea(Asia), South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands(Territory of England, so Europe), Svalbard and Jan Mayen(technically a part of Norway, so Europe), Western Sahara(Africa)
• Countries with 1 download: Chad(Africa), Falkland Islands(Territory of England, so Europe)
• Small countries, big downloads: Luxumbourg(Europe) - 3862, Malta(Europe) - 1320
  

All this fuss over a browser.  According to different schools of thought there are 192, 194, or 195 countries in the world.  Out of those, only 5 haven't downloaded a single copy.  Only 2 downloaded 1.  Amazing world, ain't it?  Firefox: Your International Open Source Browser.

 Argh.  I just typed everything out and lost it.  Now I'll just be sloppy.

EDIT:  Found the log.

[6/15/2008 10:50:53 AM] phil says: hi
[6/15/2008 10:52:52 AM] Alphawulf says: phil, I'm so glad you contacted me
[6/15/2008 10:53:05 AM] phil says: how have you been?
[6/15/2008 10:53:56 AM] Alphawulf says: things have not been so good. I was detained for a lengthy time in Amsterdam and had to return home. My father is deathly ill
[6/15/2008 10:55:49 AM] phil says: i am sorry
[6/15/2008 10:56:10 AM] Alphawulf says: I have tried at least a dozen times to send you an email, but I apparently have the wrong email address
[6/15/2008 10:56:42 AM] phil says: peprah_p@yahoo.com
[6/15/2008 10:57:10 AM] phil says: so when will you get your visa?
[6/15/2008 10:57:43 AM] Alphawulf says: that's the problem, I have been mailing to p_peprah.
[6/15/2008 10:58:10 AM] Alphawulf says: at this time, it appears to be next weekend at the earliest
[6/15/2008 10:58:22 AM] phil says: ok
[6/15/2008 10:59:28 AM] phil says: when you get your Visa ready let me know
[6/15/2008 10:59:57 AM] Alphawulf says: I will do that, and I am sorry for the inconveniences. I must cut this short though, I am at the airport and my plane home is about to board
[6/15/2008 11:00:32 AM] phil says: ok no proble exteen my greetings to your dad
[6/15/2008 11:00:51 AM] phil says: i hope as soonas we finish this transaction things will get better
[6/15/2008 11:01:14 AM] phil says: send me an email i will be waiting for that

I could only have imagined Saturday evening Phil going up to every American looking 40-50ish guy looking for "Mr. Jenkins?".  I have decided at some point this week I want to get a 419eater.com style photo of Phil... holding a large picture of David Hasselhoff.  Preferrably, this one-


(click pops to bigger)

Talking to Phil now- that's that for right now.  More when I get it.

I have to take a brief break from my buddy Phil.  I love what I do, I'm good at it... and you can't make up stories like the one I just experienced.  If anyone else told me about it, I probably wouldn't believe them.

I'm a freight broker.  A "middle man."  When trucking companies, be it UPS, Schneider Int'l, Werner, etc., get away from home, they have to get back.  As a rule of thumb, most trucking companies only have customers in their home area.  I work outside of Louisville KY.  The majority of carriers here have their local customers who send them all over the country.  Unless your driver is making sales calls while he's at his delivery in California, Washington, Nevada, wherever- you don't have customers out there.  That's where I step in.  I have customers who have freight all over the US.  You call me with your truck, I get you reloaded and back home.  The circle of trucking.

So last night, my wife went to work, and I took the baby up to pick her up when she got off of work.  We're in a crowded Italian joint called Rocky's(if you ever come to the Louisville area, GO TO ROCKY'S.  Amazing food) eating before we go home, when my phone rings- Unknown.  It HAS to be Phil!  I'm trying to dash through the door so I can get outside where I can hear him, and I miss the call.  To be honest, I probably could've gone a little faster, but if I can avoid getting on the phone with him for as long as possible, I think I can keep him going a little longer.  If I get on the phone with him, I'll be tempted to say things like, "Eat shit, scammer.  Go back to whatever dwelling with tropical wallpaper you may call home, and don't ever call me again.  By the way, I'm sending your correspondences to the FBI and other parties interested in scammers like your piece of shit self."  Instead, I was happy to let the voicemail take the lack of message that he didn't leave.

Regardless, to save face, I waited about 30 minutes and started a new chat with him via Skype on my phone.  To my chagrin, he wasn't online.

[21:36:43]  Phil, I believe you tried to contact me earlier this evening.  I was at dinner with my family to celebrate our newly shared fortune, and simply forgot my phone in the car.
[21:37:29]  Unfortunately, because you didn't leave me a voicemail, I was unable to call you back.  My daughter is now sleeping, so it's too late to call tonight.  I will be in contact tomorrow.

As of writing, no response yet.

Because I like to try to be a good dad/husband on occasion, I decided to take my wife and daughter to the park the other day.  I figured it'd be a simple task, right?  Oh no, my friends, you are so very wrong.  I decided we'd go to the big community park up the road from our house, it's pretty nice, lots of grass for her and the dog to play in.  Yeah... until my wife informed me that A) there's so much dog crap up there in the grass that there's nowhere to lay a blanket, and B) the last time her and my mother-in-law took the baby up there while they ate lunch... ugh... there was a condom on the ground next to the picnic tables.  That's just ridiculous.  Based off of this, we went to a "park" in an adjoining town.

I'll be serious for a bit.  I'm Eric, 26 from southern Indiana.  Married, have a beautiful 6 month old daughter, buying a home... I'm pretty much that mid-American middle class cliché you always hear about, but I absolutely love it.  I get up in the morning, go to work around 8, I work close enough to home that I can spend my hour lunch at home with my family, and go home at 5.